Poor SB. Let it be known by one and all that he crawled UNDER OUR HOUSE to investigate the smell. And he found…

Nothing.

He reports that it’s not as bad as he was expecting under there. He was waiting for flashlight-glowing-eyes at any moment (OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD) but that, thankfully, did not happen. However, thankfully, (or perhaps not) he did not encounter any rotting corpses (corpsi?) either.

This is clearly one of the horrors of home ownership. We are now faced with the option of cutting random holes in the walls, hoping to get lucky, MAYBE find it, or….

waiting it out. Blech.

So, my green-team house, where I use only hippie cleaners, where I would never so much as spray Febreeze due to the nasty chemicals, is now being fumigated with Glade plug-ins. Barf.

(Heather: Aren’t you glad you decided not to come? I let you think you shouldn’t stay over because of your cold! Ha! Actually, you were saved from both the stench of rotting corpse and the flowery, inadequate, chemical cover up!
Emilie: Do you know how much I fretted over having a pregnant lady in my house last night? Bionic noses and delicate fetuses should probably avoid both stenches and copious air “freshening”)

So, there it is. I share this only because I brought it up at work and it seemed everyone had a gross dead animal story. I’m owning it, in hopes that if it happens to you, you’ll know you’re not alone. You’re welcome.

This conversation also happened:

SB: I saved the suit in case one of us ever has to crawl under there again.

Me: Honey, you should know that I’m NEVER crawling under there. NEH. VER.

SB: You’d just call someone to do it? What if Clark was stuck under there?

Me: Yeah, I’d still call someone. It’s called 911.

In other news, can we talk a little bit about the facebooks? I have two friend requests at the moment that are funny/puzzling/interesting. The first is from someone I’ve never met, and thus is not my friend in any sense of the word. As far as I can tell, he must have “friended” all of another friend of mine’s friends? Anywho, his profile is so unlike any of my REAL friends, that it’s hilarious. Observe.

1. He is holding a gun in his photo. A Gun. Friendly!
2. Political Views: Conservative
3. Religous Views: Christian (Not there’s anything wrong with that, but when combined with all this other stuff, he seems to be one of THOSE christians.)
4. Under Activities he lists the following quote, “If I have to take a drug test to get a job, then you have to take a drug test to get welfare!” (Be still, my bleeding liberal heart. I’m not a fan of the civil-liberty-infringing piss test, but conservative gun-toting types usually haven’t the first clue about the circumstances that might lead someone to need welfare. Also, how Christian!)
5. Favorite Music: Country
6. Favorite TV Shows: Fox News (!)
7. Favorite Movies: A few I also liked, but most notably, “The Passion of the Christ” is number three.

Please tell me you find this as funny as I do. Reading back, I think I might sound like a big fat jerk. This is just so much the opposite of me that it almost seems fake.

The other friend request is from my First Love. Whom I haven’t seen or spoken to in 15 years. I’m not sure what I think. I’m mostly fine with it, and actually a little pleased that he thinks we should be “friends”. After a relationship that spanned most of highschool and the first year of college, it ended badly as these things do. I don’t like thinking there’s anyone out there harboring bad feelings about me, so it’s nice to know he apparently doesn’t. (Though if memory serves, it is I who should be harboring. I seem to recall some Cheater McCheaterFace-ing and then him accusing me of vandalizing his car. Um, no. That must have been some OTHER girl you pissed off.) Ah, facebook. Like a box of chocolates, one could say.

Guess what! Officer Sister is buying a house today! A house that is a 7 minute walk from mine! I am so happy about this. So. Happy.

I don’t like to post without a picture, so here is some Clarkie cuteness for you. I’m super bummed summer is coming to an end, but if there’s any up-side at all, it just might be the return of footie pajamas.

Have a good weekend, everyone!

So here’s what you do. Find a frame that’s just the frame part. You don’t need the glass and all that. These are plentiful at thrift stores and garage sales, or you might have one you’re not using lying around. Another idea, you can buy some crappy faux art type deal at TJ Maxx or Ross for super cheap, steal the frame and toss the rest. I got mine on sale at Micheal’s. They were really ugly and gold leaf-y, but it doesn’t matter because you can spray paint them!

Then, you need some wire and some tacks. Any will do, but I actually sprung for some fabric covered floral wire and some decorative tacks with rhinestone heads. Use a ruler and mark both sides of the frame opening on the back sides where you will place the tacks and attach the wire.

I should have taken a picture of the next step, but alas, I did not. It proved to be a little stickier than I thought it would be. You’ll need some pliers and maybe a hammer. I was able to bend one end of the wire around the first tack, hammer it in, then do the same on the other side, tightening the wire with the pliers and trimming off the excess once I had it secured.

And that’s it! Hang on your wall and display your pretties! I made this with my friend Tiana in mind because she wears lots of big dangle-y earrings. I made two, though, so that I could get my process down, and then make a nicer one for her. (Tiana, if you are reading this, I have a pressie for you!)

Neat, right? This little thing is bringing me a surprising amount of satisfaction. I really like to admire my jewels. They look so much nicer up on the wall than in a tangled pile on my dresser.

It seems like forever ago and sort of recently all at the same time.

Darling, SB, I know we’ve been in a bit of a rough patch, but I hope you always know that I love you, and that these have been the best 10 years a girl could ask for.

Thanks for giving me this boy and for being such a good Daddy. You two are my moon and stars.

Where are we going, Clarkie? Tell us, iPhone.

We saw many interesting sites along the way. Check out these cool community bikes! Clark liked them very much.

In the grass outside a community college, we had a major meltdown/blowout/many-wipes-employed traumatic event, but we recovered and were on our way once again, walking along in the hot, hot city.

And then we made it!

After that epic journey, we actually didn’t stay that long. It was hot and there was no nap. But we saw the cherry and the spoon!

Not sure why SB is so suspicious.

After weeks and weeks of lovely weather, Saturday dawned gray and foggy.

The allure of this race is getting to run across the Tacoma Narrows Bridge. I had imagined the spectacular views I would enjoy, the sparkly blue water stretching for miles…

Um…yeah.

The “view” turned out to be a couple hundred yards of shoreline. In the middle of the bridge, you were in such a fog ball you could barely see the water.

Not exactly what I was picturing. It was also doing that unique to the PNW, heavy spitting mist thing, where it’s not really raining but you’re soaked anyway.

Nevertheless! I kept a really good attitude throughout, and just tried to do my best, despite the conditions. Being in T-town was fun because Officer Sister was directing one of the intersections and it’s always entertaining to passersby when one runs up and hugs a cop. A couple of her friends were wo-manning other intersections, so I got high-fives from them, as well. We even got to run inside Cheney Stadium and see ourselves on the big teevee.

I felt like I was going lots slower than last time, so when I saw the race clock reading 2:30 as I approached the finish line I was SHOCKED. Subtracting another 2 minutes for a potty stop, I shaved FIVE WHOLE MINUTES off my previous time! Yay me!

Wet and soggy, but quite pleased with myself.

She is one of the most fabulous people, EVER. Doesn’t she look happy? She is SO HAPPY because it is her wedding day. Sort of. She actually got married in her dining room 6 months ago, but we were fortunate enough to get to fly out to beautiful Minneapolis, Minnesota over the weekend to attend her reception.

I’m so glad we went! Not only did we have a wonderful time in Minneapolis, we got to spend a good deal of quality time with the lovely Bride and Groom. I was reminded how important it is, whenever you can swing it, to show up for the big moments in the lives of your friends. That’s what life is all about, really.

I have many adventures to relay. I’ll begin with the gathering of family and out of town guests at their new home. It was so fun! I got to see in person all the various famliy characters I’ve been hearing about all these years, as well as see Dahli’s house for the first time. It is just as beautiful and interesting and unique as the Bride herself.

Here we are enjoying the patio she made with her bare hands:

Which brings me to a topic that must be discussed, a major part of my Minneapolis adventure:

THE MOTHER. EFFING. MOSQUITOS.

I wasn’t even outside at night that much! Just this one evening, and maybe a walk on another night, and people, I WAS EATEN ALIVE. Those things are NOT fucking around. I’m still scratching like crazy and applying hydrocortizone left and right, and we’ve been home for two days. I’ve decided that in future visits to the Land of 10,000 Lakes, I would need something like what is pictured below. If I am to spend any time out of doors at night, I will need a full body mosquito net of some kind. I bet someone has invented something like this already, but if not, Tee Em, bitchez.

More to come!

Saturday was so wonderful! We arrived about an hour before the ride began and got registered and did a team photo and whatnot…

There were fun folks all about, ready for a fun day in the sun!

The ride is so so pretty! Here, my friend Harmony rides through amber waves of grain, Mt. Baker in the distance.

We stopped for lunch at the LaConnor Brewery. Yum.

Dear SB tolerates my making him stop for a photo op on a pretty bridge:

After about 45 miles on the first day, there’s dinner and a presentation about all the good your donations are accomplishing. I always blubber though most of it. There just aren’t words, you guys. ALS takes so many people in the primes of their lives. But the ALS Association helps them to stay as active as possible. They are a 100% service organization who always says yes. No matter what sort of support a person with ALS needs, they will find a way to make it happen. We raised $132,000 as of race day, and it’s not too late if you’d still like to contribute.

Day one ends at the Conway Tavern. It is a total dive, whole-in-the-wall kind of place, but I swear it is enchanted by some sort of high on life spirit, or something. Also, it must be said, that my friends can TEAR IT UP at karaoke. Seriously.

Unfortunately, I should have known where my weekend was heading when SB, usually a life of the party sort of dude, caught a ride back to camp early because he wasn’t feeling too well. After I’d danced and sang to my heart’s content, I joined him, and found him damp and shivering in our tent. He already had a cold, but the freezing damp didn’t help. He coughed and coughed all night long, each cough bouncing me in the air on the other side of the air mattress. At first light, having not slept all night, he had a fever, his sunburn was starting to blister, and 40 miles of hills in 80 degree weather was not looking like a possiblilty. So we packed up our tent and bikes and were on the way home before anyone was out of bed.

I was super bummed, but there was nothing I could do. He had to get home. If it hadn’t been so hot, I could have finished the day and he could have slept in the car or something, but that wasn’t possible in the heat. If there is an up side to this, I’m even more excited for next year, then I would have been anyway. I think we’ll bring my Clarkie, my mom, and stay in a hotel.

You may recall, summer before last when SB and I participated in the ALS DoubleDay, an 85 mile bike ride to benefit the Evergreen Chapter of the ALS Association. I was all pregnant and extra badass for attempting such a thing. But I did it!

It was such a great experience in so many ways. The ride itself is beautiful, and we had a wonderful time with many of our friends who also participate. It also felt so good to be involved with a great cause, and to raise money for an organization that does such important work. They do more than just search for a cure, which can seem so nebulous, they support the families and improve the lives of people who suffer from this terrible disease. After the first day of the ride, there’s a spaghetti dinner where the direct beneficiaries speak about the difference this organization makes in their lives, and it’s so gratifying! So often, we never see the results that occur from our donations, but I can attest to how much good each dollar donated accomplishes.

This weekend, we’re doing it again and I couldn’t be more excited! I’m posting about this today to make one last plea for some cizzash. I’m almost to my fundraising goal, and if you have even a few bucks to toss my way, you’d have my undying gratitude. I’ll even send you a sweaty finish line photo thank you card!

Here is a link to my fundraising page. If you, by any chance, plan on fundraising for anything in the future, I promise to return the favor! Most of the folks who’ve donated to me already are people whose cancer walks or whatever I’ve contributed to. Tit for tat, you know.

I’ll be sure to post a recap of our adventures on Monday. Hopefully featuring no soaking wet photos like this one of me and my pal Tina at the finish line in ‘08!

ALS stands for Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, commonly referred to as Lou Gehrig’s Disease. You can learn more about it here.

SB and I attended a formal fundraiser for the Zoo over the weekend. It’s a hoot! (Ha! I kill me!) The tickets are pricey, but it’s a good cause of course, and the food and drink and entertainment are pretty spectacular.

Something to take special note of, is the fact that I had an UP-DO. My hair has been too short for an up-do for 10+ years. (I hesitate to say that I’m growing it out, because that means I’m embarking on a 5-year process I’m unsure I have the patience for, but I HAVE been trying to obtain a little more length so as to have more options.) Anywho, my hair lady is an absolute wizard and I appreciate, how I can show up with a flower and be like, “I don’t know, make something pretty” whilst making vague swirling gestures about my head, and she’ll perform a miracle.

(Please forgive if you’ve seen these photos all over the facebooks and the twitters and whatnot. We don’t look this good very often.)