Hello friends! As I mentioned in my goal post, I’m working full time again. This is, understandably, a big transition for our family, since I’ve been off work since I was 8 months pregnant. All that time, I was Clark’s main care taker, I kept groceries in the fridge and the house mostly tidy, and now, all that is no longer true.
I am not Clark’s main care taker.
I do not do the grocery shopping.
There has been a pile of laundry on my couch since Monday.
I don’t want to get too bogged down in how SAD I am about this. There are definitely some good things, which I’ll get to. But I’m seeing Clark an average of an hour and a half per day and it’s KILLING me. Kill. Ling. Me. He’s being raised by his village at the moment, not his mama. I leave the house at 6:30am and I get home at 6:30pm, and he goes to bed at 8.
SB and I are both IT contract workers and there was about a month there where neither of us were working. I’m glad to be contributing financially to our household again. I was basically offered my old job back and we were not in a position to turn that down, no matter how much I’d rather make a better quality of life or mothering decision. So, a paycheck! A paycheck is good.
Good things list:
1. The aforementioned paycheck
2. Getting dressed and showering and whatnot every day
3. My commute is terrible, (2 hours each way) but I’m now taking a train and a bus instead of driving, and as I’m a big dork for public transit, that’s kind of cool.
4. I enjoy getting to eat ample snacks and a proper lunch every day, which hardly ever happened as a mom.
5. Workplace’s kitchen. All the freshly brewed quality coffee and sparkling water I can drink.
6. I like my boss and my coworkers a lot.
7. It’s nice to use my brain again.
I’m hoping that this is just a difficult transition period and that we will all be fine. I know I’m not the only working parent in the world, and the fact is, I got to stay home with my baby MUCH longer than most. This contract will be 6 months to a year, so this isn’t forever. And I know already that I’m never doing this again. I’ll just have to find something closer to home next time, and take the pay cut. Any advice from the mamas among you would be appreciated!
oh honey. I’ve been checking in everyday for this post. You have such a great attitude about this MAJOR change in your life. I love your little desk. And hey, don’t forget the Friday morning egg white and turkey sausage bliss! Can’t wait to give you a BIG hug, sooner rather than later. p.s. ALSO, had no idea you were able to use the train and bus now! Fantastic. Do you have a kindle? Might be a good investment for your commute.
Hi Jenny, when I started reading this post, I thought that this doesn’t have to be forever! Great news that it is a relatively short contract. I have always been a stay at home mum, so I really admire you. However sad this is making you feel, it is probably doing you good to get out of the house, and having proper meals and drinks. I’m sure that when you get home and are with Clark, the time you spend with him really is quality time, and that you are sufficiently refreshed from being out of the house all day to get the very most out of it. If you were at home all day, you would perhaps be so tired, hungry and ‘activitied out’ that by Clark’s bath and bedtime (my favourite time of day with Toby), you would be too worn out to enjoy it. You are doing great, I’m sure in time it will get easier, and you do have the light at the end of the tunnel to know that this isn’t forever and that you are in the perfect career to find another contract closer to home. Lucy x
I recently read a great parenting book about the bigger role Dads are playing in childcare (I’m a sucker for yuppy parenting books). But one line really caught me, about how Mothering can also mean working to help provide for the family. So while I don’t blame you for wanting to find something closer, there are blessings in this temp arrangement. Clark has the opportunity to be cared for by others and learn that it’s OK. You get some personal time to accomplish goals and eat lunch by yourself. When I went back to work after Fiona, I LOVED my lunch break. Still do! And when you are off work, the house can be messy and you guys can play. Love and blessings, it’ll work out.
You and only you will know when the right time to go to work as. While Clark is this age I believe he is relatively easy to look after in terms of being fed, cuddled and strollered around and will gain a lot from being with other carers and in turn I know he will bring an immense amount of joy and sunshine into his carers lives who will also benefit. You will have the means to have all kinds of treats which you will all enjoy and willnow cherish every special moment you share together as a family. Who cares about tidying, ironing or crumbs on the floor, by the time the mice move in you will be earning enough to get a cleaner. However, you have caught me at the wrong moment, as after working full on full time for all my motherhood I finally had enough and finished completely at the ‘Inn’ on monday. Have nearly completed an online teaching asst course I am currently an unpaid volunteer in Meilin’s school. From the hardworking comfortably paid top to the unpaid bottom, but at the moment the thought of every weekend off and a 3.15 finish is amazing.
You are fortunate to be in a position to choose whether to take on a new contract when the time comes. Enjoy the paychecks, Clark will flourish, but get out when you believe its right but equally continue if it feels right. Either way you are providing for him as Jenny M says. And for the perfect lunch break toddler free and even going solo and adult free you cant beat a bit of self indulgent sushi.
With the next contract, can you negotiate a part-time schedule or work at home one or more days per week? Just getting rid of that commute would buy you a lot of time. I went for the 80% time option within biking distance of home. It’s set me back professionally and financially, but it’s a job and it’s only a portion of my week.
hliv: We totes have a Kindle, but sadly, I can’t read on the bus or train without barfing.
Lucy: You are so right! It IS getting easier.
Leah: Good for you! That’s so awesome. I bet you are just wonderful with the kids.
wm: I’m working on it. My manager knows I want to work from home if possible, and I think once I get the hang of everything, I can negotiate at least one day. Which is better than nothing!