Flotsam pt. 4

Today I shall attempt to answer Jesse’s questions. Jesse is my oldest friend. We met our sophomore year of highschool in choir. She had just moved from California and had cool asymmetrical hair, so I decided we needed to be friends. I only had to stalk her for a little while before she relented.

What is different about motherhood from what you imagined? How has your perspective changed?

Well, this one’s kind of a big DUH, but it’s harder than I thought it would be. And more wonderful, too, but just, you know, there’s no break. Ever. So as far as perspective changing, I just have a lot more empathy for other mothers. Everyone needs to do what works for them. I used to be such a EXPERT about everything before I had a baby.

Describe your biggest dilemma these days.

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Sleeping. There’s never enough. Swistle wrote about this perfectly. There is no recipe for sleep success that will work for every baby, so no one can tell you, “Do this! You’ll be sleeping through the night instantly!” Sleep is such a difficult issue. If you’re reading this, and you have a child who sleeps well, always has, please know that you can thank YOUR CHILD for that, and not some awesome parenting tactic on your part that the rest of us haven’t figured out yet. (Did that sound bitchy? Forgive me, I don’t sleep.)

How have friendships changed since you had kids?

I don’t feel much change yet, only that I don’t have as much time to devote to their upkeep as I once did. Hopefully all my friends know that I still love them, and that they are very precious to me. Can we all get together, late 2010?

Will you have another child? What are your future plans?

Definitely. I’m thinking I’ll have the IUD taken out when Clark turns two. I think it’s very important to have a sibling. They are a witness to your childhood and family in a way no one else can be.

What are the three single most important things you have/do/think about each day NOT related to your baby or husband?

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Hmm. This is hard. I guess I think a lot about exercising, and how I’m not doing as much of it as I would like. Ditto for yard work. And I always have photo editing to do. I have two sittings worth of photos waiting to be Lightroomed and delivered. (And yet, here I am blogging. *sigh*)

Is your groove back? Do you care? What are you doing or not doing? Have you created a new groove?

It’s close. We have a ton of stuff coming up in the next couple of weeks, and I’m using this time to think about how I’m going to focus on self improvement as soon as I can. I’m thinking about joining a gym with childcare so I can work out like I want to. I’m also thinking about seeing a therapist. The groove is in reach, and I’m closer to it every day.

On the horizon in the next three months? Year? Five?

Man! These are tough questions! Three months? Getting my groove back. Year? Moving, perhaps? Five? Another kid, going back to work? I don’t know. Perhaps the therapist can help with this.

Best food you’ve made from scratch in the past week?

Dude. I have found it. The quest is over. The best chocolate chip cookie I’ve ever made. Thick, chewy, delicious. I plan to do a post all about it. It is worthy.

Memory from “this day” three, five, ten and twenty years ago.

Seriously? Hmm. Okay. Summer of 06 would have been our first summer in our house, so there was a lot of happy happy yard work. I also turned 30. I’m thinking of that as a time when I was almost at my awesomest. I was just starting my tech career, we finally had a house, and I was doing a lot of yoga. Five years ago was summer of 04 and we were living in England and I was miserable. Probably at my lowest point ever. I spent so much time alone that I could feel my personality changing. Ten years ago was the summer of 99, and ooh! That was the summer I spent in Costa Rica! I was on fire, then. Traveling! Learning a language! I was also recently freed for the last time from an oppressive on again off again relationship. That was a fantastic time. Twenty? 1989? That would be the summer before 8th grade. I was slicing and sorting strawberries for minimum wage, $4.25 an hour, that summer. I stood at a conveyor belt in a hot shack as strawberries went by, and I cut off their hats and pulled out any yucky ones before they fell off the end into a big grinder-thing to make jam and icecream toppings. I remember feeling cool because I had a job. I also remember eating nothing but Slim Fast shakes for lunch. Yikes. I kind of can’t believe my mom let me do that.

Biggest Clark-related worry. Biggest SB-related worry.

I worry that there will be something wrong with him, like autism or ADD or something like that, and that I won’t be able to handle it. SB? I worry that we’ll never get back to the way we used to be, and that everything is changed forever because of the baby. That probably seems too personal all of a sudden, but I imagine relationship changes and challenges are pretty common after a baby, and that I’m not the only one in the world with these worries.

Best media you’ve experienced in the past week/month, etc… порно игра бесплатно

OMG, you guys, Breaking Bad is the best thing I’ve watched since Six Feet Under. We just powered through the first two seasons and I can’t stop thinking about it. I highly recommend it. Someone please watch it so that I can have someone to talk about it with!

None of these navel-gazey Flotsam posts have included a picture so I’m throwing these two in. SB and I got our Glam on and attended Zoobilee over the weekend. It’s a formal fundraiser for the Point Defiance Zoo and Aquarium. It was SO FUN and totally worth the price of admission.