Shameful Vanity
March 22, 2009 | Navel Gazing, Whinging
I used to have a collection on my fridge of pictures I’d cut out of Us Weekly of moms who looked good. It had to be a papparazi picture, not an event they were all dolled up for. More like, Michelle Williams caught at Starbucks, sporting a cute ensem with Matilda in tow. Or Gwynnie lunching with Kate Capshaw, well-coifed, with little Moses chewing on her keys nearby. I collected shots of put together moms for inspiration. When *I* had a baby, I was going to be put together, too. If the gods were on my side, I would manage not to gain a ton of weight when I was pregnant, and then I would continue to wear fashionable clothes. To the stars I turned for inspiration. I would be just like them.
Ha. HA HA HA.
Here’s where the whining starts. If you’re not in the mood for vane, pathetic ramblings, please just move along and come back another day. I’m ashamed. Really. But I just gotta say, there’s almost no way to avoid getting a big ole Mom Butt.
I worked out every day of my pregnancy once the puking stopped. I walked a half marathon at 30 weeks. I did an hour on the treadmill the day before Clark was born. I ate healthily, indulged occasionally, and I gained exactly what the charts say you should, 27lbs.
[Disclaimer: PLEASE OH PLEASE understand that I have so much love for the pregnant woman, so much awe in that miracle. I in NO WAY mean to place a value judgement on my weight, nor do I have any judgement when it comes to the pregnancy weight gain of others. We are all Unique Birthing Snowflakes and this is all just related to my own personal, body image, crazy cocktail, you know?]
I thought I was HOME FREE. Like, phew! Dodged that bullet! Am still hot!
Ha. HA HA HA HA.
I had no idea that the real period of ass expansion occurs when it’s suddenly Really Hard to get to the gym. When the breastfeeding makes you VORACIOUS and if you don’t eat something R.F.N you will fall over and die. The first thing in sight is rarely a salad. This is all fairly obvious, but dude. I’m shocked.
Then there’s the whole stupid and unhealthy ‘food as reward’ thing I got going on. More specifically, I don’t get to indulge in the ways I used to, I don’t leave the house (or the living room, even) that often, so the day’s excitement really is Dinner. Or Dessert.
**SIGH.**flop limply on sofa**ponder the injustice of the universe**
So, I’m trying to make the healthy choice, do my 30 Day Shred as often as possible, and remind myself how fortunate I am to have the luxury of whining about my ass. It’s still early, right? In the meantime, I’ll just try to focus on loving my awesome, child-bearing, milk-producing body, and also, try to channel Miss Holloway.
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March 23rd, 2009 at 7:30 am, Colleen Says:
Oh Jenny!! I hear you loud and clear. Oh how I understand!!
Generally, what I have experienced and what I have seen with my pals is that it takes about the same time as being pregnant to recover from being pregnant. Also once Clark is up and mobile you will be amazed at how quickly your body gets back to a state of hotness.
((although I have seen pictures of you since you had the baby and you look hot to me!!!)))
March 23rd, 2009 at 9:15 am, peaches Says:
Hi, Jenny. One mom I know doesn’t lose any of her pregnancy weight until she is ALL DONE breastfeeding, where as some of us have it drop off along the way. I have a feeling that I’m going to have a much harder time with the weight coming off/my body getting back to the fit state I like it in after this second pregnancy because I didn’t start out in optimum shape like I did with Audrey. I might get Tracy Anderson’s post-pregnancy DVD–she’s the one who got Gwyneth back in shape and is Madonna’s personal trainer. Also, the longer I live with it, the more I’m kinda in to my new (softer) mom bod. Or maybe it’s because trying to keep up with a two-year-old I don’t have time to give to much of a f***! :^) But I am really really looking forward to being able to get back to an active lifestyle after this pregnancy is over.
March 23rd, 2009 at 9:26 am, shelikestotravel Says:
I’m going to say the same thing that I recently said to another mom. You are amazing. Look at what your body did! It created a BABY!
It hasn’t been that long. Keep working on your body when you can. Be kind to it. It’s worked hard. Keep going and it will be back.
March 23rd, 2009 at 11:02 am, TheGoriWife Says:
I gained 24 pounds during pregnancy, (in part due to a very restricted gestational diabetic diet.) I left the hospital wearing my pre-pregnancy jeans and back at my pre-pregnancy weight (in part due to the horrible hospital food.)
And then? I was stuck in the house with a baby and pint after pint of Haagen Daas and gained 25 pounds in the first 5 months (In part due to the fact that I didn’t leave the house alone with the baby until he was 3 months old!)
So I feel ya.
March 23rd, 2009 at 8:37 pm, Jenny Says:
It does get better. It’s only been three months, you still have lots of slack time allowed. The weather has been tough, hard to get outside, and going to the gym is a pain in the ass. My secret was walking the dogs. 30-60 minutes at a time, once or twice a day (much easier when you give birth in June). Take SB and Clark in the stroller, or use a sling for the boy. While it doesn’t feel as dramatic in the moment….those steps really add up. We all have those post baby moments. Even after the weight drops, it’s been redistributed
I wouldn’t mind those boobs back. I loved those!
March 24th, 2009 at 11:58 am, Kelly T Says:
We ALL should strive to channel a little Ms. Holloway! Especially the naughty side!
March 25th, 2009 at 12:44 pm, Jenny Says:
Colleen: You are so right. I need to cut myself some slack. If I just had clothes that fit, I think I’d be more ok with it.
peaches: I know! When I was pg, even though I was exercising all the time, I couldn’t WAIT to get back to REAL workouts. Hot Yoga, running, Zumba, etc. That has yet to happen, though. *sigh*
shelikes: You are SO RIGHT. I feel crappy for even bringing it up, but it’s on my mind, so on the blog it goes.
Gori: HI! Your blog is so interesting! Thanks for the commiseration. What the hell, right?
Jenny: Yes. Walking. God knows, poor Freya could use it. The weather and Clark’s hatred of all things carrier related has hindered this, but I think soon we will get out there.
Kelly T: Totally. I love her so much. If only we could still dress that way!
March 30th, 2009 at 5:57 pm, Amy Says:
Preach on sister! I JUST fit back into my pre-Wyatt jeans…..he is 9 months old. Give it time.