One of those days…
February 27, 2009 | Clark
Please enjoy the unbearable cuteness of the above picture for a moment before I tell you the story of my lame morning. As a side note, that onesie was the first thing I ever bought for Clark, when I was about 5 minutes pregnant and on a miserable, puke-filled, couch lying, trip to New York.
Anyway, this morning was my Mom’s group at The Birthing Inn*. Clark was having a bad morning and I knew we should’ve stayed home, but I had invited people to the group so I felt like I had to be there. Adding to the situation was the fact that I got about 3 hours of sleep last night in 20 minute chunks. It’s AMAZING how lack of sleep can make you feel like you’re losing your mind. It makes your crazy fuse so much shorter.
So I loaded him up into his Chair of Despair and headed out. To my surprise, he fell asleep in the car, like I hear babies usually do, for the first time ever. He stayed asleep for the first 15 minutes or so of Mom’s group but after that, it was pretty much all screaming. All the other babies were totally calm, looking at Clark like what’s his problem, which if I hadn’t been so tied up in getting Clark to stop crying I would have enjoyed greatly. He was passed around a little, but no one was successful.
I joined Clark in his cry when we got in the car. About half way home, he fell asleep again, so I decided to hit the Starbucks drive thru for a mommy treat. But of course, the line was long, it was moving really slowly, and as soon as I was trapped in it, he woke up and started screaming his head off. The barista could hardly hear my order.
Between Starbucks and home, he fell asleep again, so I decided to drive through a carwash, since my pretty pretty Prius is so so neglected. I was safely inside the swishing, whirring, sudsy carwash world, zoned out completely, clutching my coffee, and staring shell-shocked at the swirling water, when I heard a whimper from the backseat. That’s when I realized that I had made a terrible mistake. You see, at some point while he was screaming, I had rolled down one of the back windows a few inches because sometimes the sound and the air makes him stop crying. Yeah.
It was a touch free car wash, the kind with no brushes, just lots of water sprayed really hard at your car. The sprayer thing had gone around the car at least three times while I was caught in my sleep deprived delirium. There was about an inch of water in the back seat and Clark was all wet. He didn’t wake up, though.
I am so. Awesome.
*Should you be local and interested in this sort of thing, please come. It’s for moms with babes under 6 months and you don’t need to have birthed there. It’s every Friday from 10:30-12. Come! See Clark lose his shit!
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February 27th, 2009 at 6:04 pm, sizzle Says:
I know I should probably not have laughed but I did. Being sleep deprived is no joke! But the car wash? That’s pretty funny- and he didn’t wake up. Wow!
February 27th, 2009 at 6:10 pm, Amy Says:
I just had a loud belly laugh and I’m all by myself. As I wipe the tears from my eyes I realize this was probably inappropriate. There will be a day when you too laugh….out loud….with tears of joy. Truly awesome. Lord knows if you’ve had a child you know exactly what it’s like to stare straight ahead with all periphery vision a blur not knowing what’s going on around you. Just ask Wyatt. I’m pretty sure there are permanent dents in his head that came to be while I wasn’t exactly operating with all faculties. Yep. My friend Julia assured me not to worry as I wasn’t going to win mom of the year anyway, and Wyatt will have no other mom to compare me too. And Clark didn’t even wake up! You’re totally in the clear.
February 27th, 2009 at 7:38 pm, Beth Says:
So every once in a while, someone asks me or Merideth if we’re going to have kids. We usually reply honestly: we love kids, but don’t have an overwhelming desire to have them except for the rare baby that we want to snatch and have for our very own.
Which leads me to the reveal that your baby is now on that list of kids we’d love to have.
And now I realize this comment is coming off totally weird, but seriously: that is one cute baby.
I should reassert: I’m not going to snatch him.
But I want to.
February 28th, 2009 at 2:37 pm, dahli Says:
One of those days is right..but in due time you too will be laughing at this post (or maybe you already are). Love you and your mothering; looking forward to seeing it all in action.
xoxo
February 28th, 2009 at 4:26 pm, Tacoma Friend Says:
That picture is so overwhelming cute, I’m have a hard time not making it my computer’s wallpaper!
Thanks for sharing this funny story – I can’t believe he didn’t wake up!
February 28th, 2009 at 9:20 pm, Jenny Says:
It totally gets better, I promise. But it is a hard road, step by step. And dear Lord, that mommy brain. I one time went for a lovely walk around Proctor, easily 2 hours, and returned to my car at the MM parking lot. My driver’s side door was wide open. Just how I’d left it. I’ll give you a shout the next time all us moms get together. We’d love to pass around your baby. And you can sit and drink coffee and stuff.
March 1st, 2009 at 6:36 am, ~e Says:
What a morning! As I type this we are into our second hour of “going to sleep” with Saskia. No one, including Anika, is getting any rest. We are miserable. Hopefully she’ll tucker herself out.
Your car story made me think of a trick that may work if crying in the car doesn’t abate after a car wash with the windows down. Static on the radio, whitenoise, change the balance to the rear speakers for as much comfort as you can manage while you drive. However, in about 80% of cases, white noise in the car really works.
Love this post. So right on for all parents.
March 1st, 2009 at 9:17 pm, tacomachickadee Says:
He didn’t wake up!? Wow.
March 1st, 2009 at 9:52 pm, Camille Says:
Look at those beautiful blue eyes! You two make cute babies!
March 2nd, 2009 at 6:00 am, Noreen Says:
Jenny, you are a spectacular mom. Every story you tell speaks to your love and care for Clark. And your humor and joy in the face of the insanity that is sleep-deprived parenting is amazing. But nothing says more about your love for that darling, darling boy than your face in that picture. He is, of course, perfect, but I am enchanted by your lovey face looking at him. So awesome.
March 2nd, 2009 at 12:28 pm, Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah Says:
Can’t read words.
Too much cuteness.
Watched “The Big Lebowski” last night and thought of you.
Can’t write full sentences. Apparently.
March 4th, 2009 at 8:54 pm, Megan O Says:
That’s one way to give the kid a bath! You might be on to something! Hang in there-I have no idea what having a baby is like but sleep deprivation I am much akin to. He is BEAUTIFUL and so are you!
March 13th, 2009 at 11:02 am, Jenny Says:
sizz: Yes, I know. HiLARious.
Amy: Yep! He’ll never find out! Oh, wait…
Beth: Ha! Well, should he ever go missing, I’ll rest assured that he is safely ensconced in a beautiful home in SF with a cute dog, cat, and two nice ladies.
dahli: Thanks, love. Hows the house process coming?
Tacoma friend: You’re welcome. I’m sure there are more stellar parentng moments to come.
Jenny: Get OUT. God bless the Meti Mart shoppers for not taking your stuff!
e: Yeah, I remembered that you guys did that. It has about a 50% success rate for Clark. I think it ust be the stining jellyfsh that live in his car seat.
chickadee: I know. I don’t get it.
camille: thanks! I wish we could have lots and lots but clearly I couldn’t handle it.
Noreen: Aw. Thanks, friend.
Sarah: SWEET. I love that.
Megan: Yes, at least while *I* am sleep deprived, only me and Clark are at risk.