One day last week, SB and I took Clark on his first walk on the Waterfront. It was the first time using the stroller, and it was poor Freya’s first walk in far too long, the poor dear. Despite it being ass cold, it went really well! Clark slept the whole time, we were able to stay out longer than planned, and I even got to use the cup holder on my stroller when we stopped for a coffee treat.
Then over the weekend, we had a guest in town, and we attempted this adventure again.
Um, yeah. FAIL.
Clark hates his carseat, but will usually stop screaming in protest once we’ve been driving for a few minutes. Well, this time, he didn’t. I thought the motion of the stroller would do it, so we optimistically began our walk. But he kept crying. At this point, we’re not talking about your typical, “please pick me up” cry, or “Excuse me, but my shorts are full” cry, but more like an “I am experiencing extreme torture and my parents don’t love me” cry. It sounds kind of like a car alarm in the repetitive nature of the bleets, but more scratchy and low. Also, as I am biologically programmed to respond to this particular creature’s distress, our sunny walk was quickly turning into torture for me, too. I started walking faster and faster, “It’s okay, baby”-ing in vain, and frantically began searching for a bench to stop at, all the while getting further and further from the car. Finally a bench materialized, thankfully a bit away from the path, facing the water. I took him out of his seat, clenched him to my chest, and started balling, too. It was crazy. I felt all of a sudden like we were in the wild or something and I needed to keep him safe.
The answer to calming his distress was obviously to feed him, but now that seemed ridiculous. I found myself trying to wrestle my newborn, dressed just in pajamas, under my numerous layers, on a cold ass day, wind coming off the water, to my breast. I imagine I’m not accurately conveying our distress, but as far as Clark and I were concerned, there may as well have been tigers circling.
I fed him for about two minutes, then put him back into his seat, abandoning the walk, and started heading for the car. The “I’m being tortured” cry started again, and I started walking as fast as I could, hoping my still flowing tears were covered by my sunglasses. I kept having to make those “aw shucks, poor thing” smiles at the happy people we kept passing, all the while still feeling the tigers circling.
Of course, just as the car came into sight, he fell asleep. We survived, but I don’t think I’ll be attempting another walk any time soon.
Don’t worry you’ll get the timing down. Kids usually find their groove (schedule) around 6 weeks and then they’re easier to figure out. (Until they change their schedule on you) When my first was little I used to tell people I could meet them between times, say 9 and 9:30, for example, that way I didn’t have to stress over an impromptu nursing or poopy diaper.
Most of my first outings were to La Leche League meetings. NO ONE there even flinched at a screaming baby, boobs flopping out left and right, or crazy poo filled diapers. It was so nice to have no pressure and get out of the house. Plus…hello? New mom support coming out the ying-yang. Good for you getting out. Don’t give up on it too soon! You’re still in baby brain mode! Take a breath…you’re blog is fabulous and totally honest!
Oh Jenny. I had a couple nightmare moments like that when we first moved to Hong Kong, everyone staring, on the subway, in the middle of the mall with no benches, apartment hunting. NIGHTMARE. You do feel like the tigers are circling and CLOSING IN. You are doing an amazing job. One day at a time. Next week is Chinese New Year, perhaps we can SKYPE! Love you, hliv…ps you look fabulous pps saskia is home
um…that was me, not erik, although I am sure those moments were traumatic for him as well
Jenny you look so great!!! I am sorry that the second walk was a gong show. How I remember those times! The sound of your own crying baby is so amblified!!
My daily walk became my sanity.
Thinking of you lots and lots!!
Also…we always kept a static channel on our saved stations. That way when either baby would not stop crying in the car, we could just switch to the back speakers and crank up the static. It worked more times than not.
clickmom: That is a great idea. Whethr I say it or not, we are alwasy there ‘around’ when we were supposed to be.
Kelly T: Yeah, my mom’s group is pretty good for that. I just love walking, though! kid has GOT to learn to like either his stroller or his sling! As of now he hates both.
hliv: Oh my GOD. I can’t even imagine how you possibly survived. The lunacy of moving to Hong Kong with a 3 week old is becoming more clear.
Colleen: Hi friend! sorry I’m so quite over there on our board. I’m reading, commenting is just such a PITA.
hliv: Yes, good call. God. The car can be so painful.