30 Weeks Update
October 10, 2008 | Mom In The Making
It’s been a big week on the pregnancy front. I’m making a concerted effort to be more excited about/connected to this baby and this pregnancy. I think this whole time, partly because of the marathon, I’ve been trying to be NOT pregnant to a certain extent. In even more fucked up news, I think I’ve also been trying to insulate myself against something bad happening. I haven’t been worrying a lot, and I believe that I am healthy, my body is strong, and everyhting is going to turn out okay. But still, I don’t think I ever really switched off that, “I shouldn’t get excited or attached because something bad might happen” first trimester defense mechanism.
So! Firstly, I switched midwives, which was kind of a big deal. I had been going to a midwifery practice where you see a different one every time, and then you get whichever one is on call when you go into labor. I was okay with that for all this time, but I just suddenly decided that I wasn’t. My appointments were getting increasingly less satisfying. Seriously, they were MAYBE 5 minutes long. They would go something like this:
Nurse weighs me and takes blood pressure: 2 minutes
Takes me back to an exam room, wait alone, 5-20 minutes
Midwife comes in. Reclines chair/table thing, measures me, 30 seconds
Squirts goo on belly, listens to baby’s heartbeat while asking me if I have any questions or concerns: 30 seconds.
Fills out appointment slip, hands it to me while walking out the door, says see you in 2 weeks.
SERIOUSLY. I promise I’m not exagerating. When I heard from a friend who’s seeing just one midwife that her 28 week appointment was an hour and a half long, I started to feel like maybe I was missing out on something. So, as part of this get more connected effort, I decided to switch to just one midwife. She is someone I’ve seen at another birth, and she seems cool. I’m feeling really good about this decision.
Secondly, I started going to prenatal yoga. I was hesitant to start it before, because I was worried it would just be a bunch of breathing and bonding and not a workout, but clearly, that’s what I need. I’ve been twice now, and I think it’s really good. It also reminded me how much I miss yoga! The smell of my mat nearly brought tears to my eyes. It’s good to be back to it, and I’m reminded how great it will be to return to my regular Bikram practice after the baby comes.
Here I am, in all my 30 week glory before yoga the other night:
The belleh. It is hyoog.
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October 10th, 2008 at 3:16 pm, tacomachickadee Says:
That’s pretty much exactly the same reason that I switched from a doc (was supposed to get a midwife, but they cancelled the midwifery part of the office the week of my first visit) and their 5 minute appointments and cranky nurse to a midwife who gave me more information in my 1 hour “will I switch” appointment than in all my previous months. I switched with LESS than 2 months to go. Like, 7 weeks I think. Thanks to a good friend of ours both who told me to just do it. Haven’t looked back since. And now I count my most recent midwife ais one of my good friends, too …
Good luck darlin’!
October 12th, 2008 at 1:19 pm, peaches Says:
GOOD FOR YOU!! You might have well been seeing some HMO OB for that kind of treatment. I’m glad you started the yoga, too. I’d been wondering… I found it to be good in that it forced me to chill out/have some “me” time at least once a week, to take a break from being overproductive multitasker chick. It also TOTALLY helped in labor. Our instructor ended each class with these grounding, “letting gravity take over” mediations as we did our cool down and I apparently did a good job internalizing them because in labor I just automatically went into some zen zone thinking about those and they really helped.
ps–I agree with you on the rug decision; and, I didn’t get a chance to say earlier: YOU KICK ASS!!!!!! That’s so amazing you did the 1/2 marathon!! And I concur with others that it was an excellent post–I really felt I was there pounding the pavement with you, and it’s SUCH a funny story! xoxoxo
October 12th, 2008 at 6:55 pm, hliv Says:
Jenny, I keep avoiding replying to this, cause it just makes me so sad. I mean, I am super happy that all these wonderful changes/revalations are occuring, but I am just so sad to be ABSENT for it all. I love you.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:01 pm, jonniker Says:
My non-ultrasound appointments have been about 30 minutes? Maybe? I don’t know what I’d DO for an hour and a half, but maybe that’s because I haven’t hit the bigtime yet? I … I don’t know. What did she DO in the hour and a half appointment?
I go to a mixed practice — there are three OBs and two midwives, and like you, I’ll get whomever’s on call. That doesn’t bother me, as I wasn’t really set on a midwife (in fact, for a variety of reasons specific to me, was quite the opposite). Maybe the ultralong appointments are fraught with … midwifery? I don’t know!
October 12th, 2008 at 7:03 pm, jonniker Says:
I forgot to mention that despite the briefish appointments, I ADORE my practice, all of them. I chose them because they were super-personal, go by their first names, and really do care. I don’t know why I felt like I was cheating on them by not mentioning that part, because really, I love them a little too much, I think.
October 13th, 2008 at 11:05 am, Noreen Says:
I am so happy you are finding some ways to be connected. It makes a difference, I think. I totally felt some detachment issues during my pregnancy for the same reason– I was scared to death something bad was going to happen. You are going to be an amazing mom and it probably feels nice to be tapping into that part of it now. This is just the beginning of the great relationship you and Wee Jacobs are going to have.
I loved the widwife set-up, but I saw the same woman almost all my appointments toward the end and we talked for long, long sessions and I was thrilled she was the one who was there with me at the end. Do what’s right for you and I know it’s going to be an amazing experience!
October 14th, 2008 at 7:37 pm, Jenny Says:
chickadee: She was just telling me about that. That was so brave and wise of you!
peaches: Thanks for the support! Yeah, the yoga is pretty great.
hliv: Yes, I’m sad you are not here, too.
But you are where you are supposed to be!
jonniker: You are so funny.
A hlaf an hour is way better than 5 minutes. I feel like you need someone to talk to you for a little while at least, so that you can be reminded what you meant to ask them. I think my friend’s appointment was a special long one because she is having a homebirth and she had brought her nervous about homebirth parents with her, so the MW spent extra time with them. But that’s exactly the kind of thing that never could have happened at my old place. I;m really glad that you are so happy with your care, especially since you probably don’t have many options out there in the sticks!
Noreen: Which one did you have? I like them all, but one totally rubbed me the wrong way. I can only hope to do as well as you did in labor!
October 15th, 2008 at 10:19 pm, Jess Says:
Ha! I was just about to explain the circumstances of my 1 1/2-hour appointment, when I see that you have exactly explained it in your comment. I don’t want your readers to think I am crazy! My regular appointments are about 50 minutes long. I need that long to get through my irrelevant stories before she can tell me what I need to know that week
. Let it also be known that my knowledge of child birth and pregnancy is about 1/10th of Jenny’s, so I need lots of instruction!