Proof I am very, very old.

A recent trip to the mall *shudder* resulted in the following observations, all proof that I am indeed ancient and most definitely no longer cool.

I saw the following footwear for sale. I couldn’t believe it! I rubbed my eyes and shook my head, yet it remained:

At Nordstrom, right out front with the cool shoes, not in the back with the orthopedic sandals, they had two pairs of these displayed, in God help us, aqua and yellow. Really? Seriously? These are back?

I ventured a little further in, where I saw these:  

I had these in about 4 different colors in the the 9th grade. I think this is the first time stuff has come back that I actually remember wearing, you know? The 80′s trends don’t really count, because honestly, I was in the 6th grade in 89′ so I never really wore those fashions, but early 90′s? We’re bringing back the early 90′s? What’s next? Russel sweatshirts with matching hair scrunchies?

I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, but these were there, too:

Did we all not suffer enough sweaty feet and plastic-y blisters? Why force these calamities on further generations? 

I wandered past the Abercrombie store and noted geriatrically that the music was way too loud. And why is it so dark in there? Who wants to shop in the dark?

My continual shirt crisis led me to the Gap, where once again, I felt like a senior citizen. Yes, I realize this layered shirt look has been around for quite some time, but all the mannequins in the store had about 4 shirts on each, and they were all super rumply. I had to stop myself from straightening their schlumpy layers.

This particular trip to the mall comes on the heels of a conversation I had this weekend in mixed company about the New Kids on the Block reunion. I shared my memories of sleeping outside on the sidewalk to get tickets to see them at the Puyallup Fair, reflected fondly upon my collection of NKOTB mini-buttons I attached to my jean jacket, etc. Jordan was my favorite. I attempted to poll others on their favorites, but no one really committed and the conversation moved on. Later, we started talking about how old everyone was, and that’s when I realized that I had been talking to a bunch of people in their twenties about the New Kids on the Block. So, if I was 12 or 13 when I was into them, these people were, like, 8. One of them, was FOUR.

OH MY GOD.

Someone get granny to stop blathering about the olden days!