I guess I throw like a girl.
May 23, 2007 | We Are Family
SB and I went over to my parent’s house for dinner tonight. Officer Sister had the night off, so she was there as well. We were standing near my mom’s fruit bowl and noticed she had several wrinkly skinned apples in there no one was ever going to eat, along with some bananas way past their prime.
Here’s where the story gets a little hick-ish. You have to understand that my parent’s have a 5 acre compound. There’s the house in the middle, then a pool and man-cave game room connected by a deck, then around all that is a big fenced field, where there is some sort of animal. Usually cows and a horse or two. And there’s also the bunnies! You can sit on the front porch and watch them hopping in the field below, sometimes stalked by Sparticus, the marvelous orange cat.
Anyway, the hick part. Because of all the wildlife, we just throw fruit out into the field when it goes bad. Just give it a nice satisfying huck off the front porch. When Officer Sister noticed all the mushy fruit she said, “Come on! Let’s go play my game!”
SB and I followed her out to the porch where she explained the game. Basically, it was this: hit the pear tree’s trunk and make the fruit go splat. Said pear tree is about 25 yards off the porch. She selected a granny smith with a big brown bruise, fired away, and of course hit it perfectly, fruit exploding satifyingly in all directions. Everyone cheered.
Ooh fun, I thought, choosing a sticky, wrinkly, gala. I focussed intently on the tree trunk and threw…and missed by a lot. I was personally impressed that my depth was perfect, I was just off about 4 feet to the right. Officer Sister declared, “Oh my god, that was so girly” while she LAUGHED AT ME. I’ll get the next one, I thought. Then it was SB’s turn.
SPLAT! His coffee colored banana landed squarely on the lowest branch.
Choosing an overly ripe golden delicious for her next throw, Officer Sister prepared her shot. Let’s just stop here and recognize that my sister is a MACHINE. Girl went to college for free on an athletic scholarship. She’s good at EVERYTHING.
Again, she made the fruit explode against the tree trunk and again everyone cheered. Then it was my turn, and AGAIN I missed. At this point, I started to pout. I mean come on! She’s a freaking amazon, crime fighting, ass kicking machine! I could have hit that tree if I’d had a few more tries! This was my first time with “her game”.
As we walked back inside I grumbled, “I bet I have way better balance than you.”
She agreed because she knows what’s good for her.
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May 24th, 2007 at 8:44 am, Beth Says:
That is an awesome hick game. Awesome.
May 25th, 2007 at 9:09 am, Jenny Says:
I know. I need to practice so that NEXT time she’s goin’ DOWN.