Maybe you had to be there.

We went over to my parent’s house for dinner last night and my mom and sister told us this story. It’s one of those that pops back into your head and makes you start laughing all over again, and your partner starts to ask you what you’re laughing about but then stops, because he knows.

So, Officer Sister is trying to buy a house. My mom and she were on their way to look at one with the realtor.  They were running late, it was around 5 o’clock, the traffic was horrible, and I bet my sister was being grumpy, as she frequently is.

My mom drives a giant SUV which I am constantly giving her shit for, but Officer Sister is the one that gives her shit for her driving. My mom drives like a granny and always has, which is why she hasn’t gotten a ticket in at least 30 years.

So they were the first car in the left turn lane, but there was a line of about 50 cars waiting in the on-coming lane.  They had already sat through one light without being able to go. My mom had noted, however, that the car in the front was full of chatty girls that did not seem to be paying any attention. Keeping in mind my sister’s frequent ridicule about her granny driving, and the fact that they were in such a hurry, my little mom was gripping the steering wheel in anticipation, eyes furtively darting between the light and the girls in the car.

When the light turned green, she goes, “Watch this!” and steps on it, tearing out into the intersection (in her giant SUV, I might add) turning left before the girls in the other car have noticed the light changed. She was SO proud of herself. She turned to my sister, expecting to be praised for her un-granny-like maneuver, only to see her covered in lettuce (there was a sandwich involved) and staring back at her like she was utterly insane.

You see, APPARENTLY, Officer Sister had just noticed a friend from high school driving the car next to them, going straight. They had made eye contact, smiled, and she was rolling down her window to say hi, when my mom gunned it and tore off, sending Officer Sister and her sandwich flying, and probably confusing the hell out of the poor friend. Of course, this was someone she hadn’t seen in 5 years, so she didn’t have her number to call and explain, so that girl just gets to think my mom is nuts. (Which, let’s face it, she sort of is.)

I haven’t laughed so hard in ages. I’ve laughed about it again while writing this. Maybe you need to see see my tiny little mom proudly demonstating her aggressive turn, or hear my sister describing the mayonaise all over the door, but DAMN. That was some funny shit.