After seeing all the cool costumes the night before, Officer Sister announced that she was going to try to put something together. I was more than willing to jump on board, ostensibly to keep her from doing it alone, but you know I LOVE to dress up. During the screening, I paid close attention for any random, clever, reference that I could turn into a costume with minimal hassel. And there, right in the opening monologue, it was:
“They call Los Angeles the City of Angels. I didn’t find it to be that exactly, but I’ll allow as there are some nice folks there. ‘Course, I can’t say I seen London, and I never been to France, and I ain’t never seen no queen in her damned undies as the fella says.”
That’s right. I went as The Queen In Her Damned Undies. A trip to a costume shop for a cape and a crown, and to K-mart for some granny panties, and I was all set! It should be noted, however, that Officer Sister called after I was already $60 into it to announce she didn’t find anything, the bitch. Her boyfriend, Jesse, made an excellent Monte, however.
“Dude, I finally got the venue I wanted. I’m Performing my dance quintet–you know, my cycle–at Crane Jackson’s Fountain Street Theatre on Tuesday night, and I’d love it if you came and gave me notes.”
Here are my favorite costumes of the night. It was such a kick in the pants to meet all these cool people!
“Yeah man, it really tied the room together.”
“I see you rolled your way into the semis. Dios mio, man. Liam and me, we’re gonna fuck you up.”
“Stay out of Malibu, deadbeat! Keep your ugly fucking goldbricking ass out of my beach community!”
Hello! Do you speak English? Parla usted Inglese? I’ll say it again. Did I urinate on your rug?
Maude and a minion from the Gutterballs dream sequence.
“Autobahn. Their music is a sort of–ugh–techno-pop.”
DUDE: And then. . . let’s see, I uh–music business briefly.
MAUDE: Oh?
DUDE: Yeah. Roadie for Metallica. Speed of Sound Tour.
“And so, Theodore Donald Karabotsos, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which you loved so well.” (Get it? She’s the fucking Bosom of the Pacific Ocean!)
“People forget that the brain is the biggest erogenous zone.”
MAUDE: My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal. Which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina.
DUDE: Oh yeah?
MAUDE: Yes, they don’t like hearing it and find it difficult to say. Whereas without batting an eye a man will refer to his “dick” or his “rod” or his “Johnson”.
“Ze pigs in blanket.”
“I didn’t blame anyone for the loss of my legs, some chinaman took them from me in Korea, but I went out and achieved anyway.”
DUDE: Will you find these guys? I mean, do you have any promising leads?
POLICEMAN: Leads, yeah. I’ll just check with the boys down at the Crime Lab. They’ve assigned four more detectives to the case, got us working in shifts! (These guys even had name badges with their shifts specified)
While we were bowling our second game, the creators themselves, Scott Shuffitt and Will Russell, came up to us and said me and Jesse had made the finals.
It was an honor just being nominated, as they say. I was pretty surprised it was such a hit, actually. There were definitely a few people who came up to me and asked me what I was. When I told them, if they still didn’t get it, I got to call them fucking amateurs, though, which was sweet.
In the end, the spot on Jackie Treehorn took third, The Bosom of the Pacific Ocean took second, and a dude dressed as Bunny took first. This really pissed off Officer Sister. And I quote:
“WHO ELSE is sick of guys dressing up like girls and winning costume contests?!! It’s like a fucking high school pep assembly all over again!”
Amen, Sister. I mean, come on. His toes weren’t even painted green.
There’s much more to tell but it took me eleventy hundred hours to post all those pictures, so there’s even MORE Lebowski goodness to come!
WOW. I am so uber-super-duper jealous of you (and where was SB in these pics? behind the camera, perhaps?)! Damn, big props to you for posting all this. And more to come? My stars!
You are my fucking hero. Seriously.
SB looks so kickass.
LSGP: SB did not dress up. He wore our sweet hoodie form the night before, fetched many Caucasians and Oat Sodas, and held down our lane while I was flitting about getting all these pictures.
Jesse: Thanks! I must know, though, which one of these people you think is SB. He is not pictured in this post, except for in the back ground of the very first one with glowing satan eyes. Ha! Hopefully you didn’t think he was Bunny!
(No offense intended towards Bunny with this crack or the one in the post about the man’s toenails. He was a very nice guy who is also pictured in the first night’s post in his Hungus jersey.)
Wow. That looks like wicked fun. I’m green with envy.
Good site!!!