I come to you today with a cautionary tale. Don’t let this happen to you.
A couple of nights ago, some friends and I had dinner and drinks at the new Paddy Coyne’s Irish Pub downtown. (This is not the cautionay part. It was great!) We enjoyed fish and chips, beers, and good conversations before heading up the hill to the Rialto to see Dar Williams in concert. (This is not the cautionary part, either. She put on an excellent show.)
About halfway through the concert, the friend sitting next to me rummaged around in her bag and produced what looked like a perfectly harmless Altoids tin in the darkness of the theater, and kindly offered it to me. My mouth was tasting a little stale at this point in the evening, so I eagerly selected one, anticipating the cleansing Altoid mintiness.
Moments later I was spitting furiously and wiping my tongue on my sleeve. It was a BLACK LICORICE flavored Altoid.
GROSS.
I realize there are twisted people out there that enjoy the flavor of the devil’s armpits, but if you, like me, find the taste of black licorice about as appetizing as licking an ashtray, BEWARE OF THE ALTOID OFFERED IN THE DARK.
:gigglingupastorm
if you have to put up with that taste, at least it should have been liquor!
thank you, thank you, thank you for the warning. i detest the taste, the sight of black licorice. how impolite to offer a black licorice altoid to a friend without telling them first what KIND it was. doesn’t everyone know that liking black licorice is a rarity?
yeah i have some of these. like a crazy fool i got them thinking they’d be good and they have been sitting on my shelf for maybe more than a year. maybe i should get rid of them. yeah. i definitely need to get rid of them. they are sick.
What is the point, may I ask, of a licorice altoid? Is it candy? The idea can’t possibly be that black licorice flavor would freshen your breath, would it? Though I am now loath to admit it, I am a fan of black licorice in and of itself, but it doesn’t sound appetizing in the form of an altoid.
Dude, that is the grossest thing ever. I hate black licorice with the passion of a thousand angry wasps. I would have gagged loudly and yelled, and then pinched whoever gave me that monstrosity. Repeatedly.
I respect your calm in the face of such horror.
Victorian: Right? Jager is the only exception I’ll make, and then only when my judgement is impaired.
Jill: Totally! I believe this particular friend is now aware of my dislike.
beth c: I have no idea! As you now know, I can’t imagine ever thinking the flavor of black licorice could EVER improve the state of your mouth.
JayAre: I am so happy to have potentially saved you from a potentially scarring event.
Oops! Tia!
Yes, my dear, TOSS THEM! You could save the tin for something, though, I suppose. Something GROSS.
Y’all suck.
I like them, okay? I was being nice, okay? They make them because SOME people like them and want them and are thrilled to not have the inside of their mouths be burned alive by curiously strong pepperschmint bullcrap.
Go ahead and be haters. More Licorice Altoids for me, fools.
Jesse: Ha! You can have them ALL. I think Tia may have some she can pull out of the trash for you, too.
is there a way to block Jesse?
:LOL
Bad Victorian! Zesty Enterprise welcomes all, even those who like black licorice, lo how it pains us.
Hey, love all the curiously strong responses. Thought I’d let ya know that I tossed my “nastoids” today. Seems to me to be a metaphor of sorts and I will thank you and your blog for helping me to, well, to release a hold on something in my life that I really needed to let go of. All that’s left now is the tin (saved, yes, for future use) which Julia sniffs longingly…..
Tia: Go in peace, my child.