There’s no crying in baseball.
January 30, 2007 | Geekly Aspirations
You may remember back in August when I quit my unfulfilling, underpaid, brain-rotting j-o-b? I thought I’d only have a couple of weeks before I started my glamorous new life in the IT field.
HA HA HA.
With the exception of a project here and there, I’ve been UNEMPLOYED. Since AUGUST.
It’s been great! Yes, I’ve had to deal with plenty of guilt about spending money while not earning money, but really, I’ve enjoyed myself. And I got so much done! Once January rolled around, however, the savings account was starting to make me nervous.
I am delighted to report that I started my new job last week. It’s official! I’ve got an ID badge and everything. This is such a relief in so many ways. I’ve always known I’m a smart person that should be using her brain, but with the exception of some translation work, I’ve had nothing but j-o-b’s that ultimately, I felt ashamed of. It’s utterly lame to have so much of one’s identity tied up in having a good answer to the dreaded, “So, what do you do?” cocktail party opener.
So, yay! Employment! Using my brain! Making a grown up wage!
But also?
Stress! Feeling stupid all the time! Crying at least once a day!
Dude. I haven’t used my brain in YEARS. And now? Now I’m making webpages for France. On my second day! I’m not even sure what I do. I think I’m a web developer?
So yeah, it’s been a little stressful. Every moment is another encounter with something else I don’t know. I realize that this is always the case with any new job, but this is a whole new field. I’m often tripped up by the simplest of things. Yesterday, my boss was explaining how to do something over the phone and IM, I was barley keeping up, when he instructed me to use one of my function keys. My laptop is fairly new, so while he is 4 steps ahead of me, I’m still searching for my fucking Fn key. It’s small things like that plus big complicated things that have led to a twice daily cry. I’m not proud of it.
But today? Today I didn’t cry. I got into the elevator with SB and my boss, shot the shit on the way down to the parking garage, and exited alone with a spring in my step. Today I did not cry!
But I did lose my car in the parking garage.
I took two laps, retracing what I thought was my path to the elevators. I was starting to get a little frustrated with myself, so I decided to go back upstairs and pee, then attack the situation with fresh eyes and an empty bladder. I made a few more laps, carefully maneuvering between subtley slanted floors that magically transported me to diferent, but identical universes. Thirty minutes later, it was no longer funny, my bag was getting heavy, and the tears were about to start. Then I finally found it. Of course I did.
So. I’m hoping tomorrow I can keep the tears to a minimum and take better note of where I leave the car. Wish me luck!
I did not cry about this either.
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January 31st, 2007 at 9:32 am, Beth Says:
Oh, it’s so SAD when the coffee spills, too!
There’s no shame in crying. I got more than one vendor to come over and fix things at ridiculous hours when I was in IT by crying.
(It helped that said vendors were mostly nerdy boys who had no experience with girls, and did not understand that my crying was just a product of frustration, not that I was going to live a miserable life from that second on.)
January 31st, 2007 at 11:39 am, LSGP Says:
Hey, congratulations! Way to be a contributing member of society. (half-joking)
January 31st, 2007 at 9:19 pm, Colleen Says:
Oh Jenny that is so tragically funny!! Is that a latte in your car or are you just happy to see me.
Har de har.
I am so happy for you, you are going places!
February 1st, 2007 at 8:40 pm, Rona Says:
You, my friend, have always been ONE BRAVE CHICK! I’m glad to hear that the trauma is slowly going away. I’d hire you for anything, anyday. And I know you’d get it.
February 2nd, 2007 at 1:31 am, Jenny Says:
Beth: I have managed thus far to keep my crying private. PLEASE GOD may this continue.
LSGP: Hey thanks!
Colleen: That is in fact a latte in my car. It spilled entirely in the cup holder thing, so I guess it could have beeen worse. I am ALWAYS happy to see you, my dear.
Rona: Oh stop! You are so nice. Thank you!
February 14th, 2007 at 10:07 am, Occidental_Girl Says:
Congratulations! When I started my first “real” job after college, I was in over my head a tad. I soon caught up, but those first few months I spent working there learning something every day. I took manuals home to read because I felt so behind!
Your job sounds great. If you weren’t learning something, you’d be the annoying know it all, so how about that?
I’d have cried over spilt coffee. That is sad.
May 18th, 2007 at 3:40 pm, Zesty Enterprise » Such is the life of a contract worker in the IT field… Says:
[...] So… remember how, like, FIVE MINUTES ago I started a new job? Yeah, well, it’s over already. [...]